Papers published in scientific journals tend to have a very specific tone. On the one hand, you're taught to write as clearly and neutral as possible. On the other hand, however, I suppose it is rather easy to get lost in big terms as a means of convincing the reader that your results are the most important to date. Andreas Brandmeier has a very entertaining Twitter called Psyc Title Generator, on which he posts random potential article titles which sound fancy but are complete bullshit (but see this commentary for a different view on a similar topic). The titles are generated in R, so everyone can download and run the script and have their tiny moments of ridiculous hubris. Here are some of my favourites:

When does cat food consumption matter most? A comparison with respect to antisocial behavior and narcissism.

As a cat owner, this topic obviously is very dear to me. I would indeed describe my cat as antisocial and narcissistic, and he does eat cat food. Could I become like him?

Does the aging brain matter? A longitudinal study of the facilitating role of time until remarriage.

Soooo... the longer you wait until remarriage, the more resilient your brain is to age- related decline? Or do older people wait longer until they remarry? Aaahh, correlations!

Drivers of nihilistic feeling: guilt and cat food consumption.

Again, my cat. Nihilistic, eats cat food. Never feels guilty though.

Narcissism predicts differences in perceived existential crisis.

Well, obviously! Duh!

Chronic hypnosis treatment causes oral fixation.

I like how "chronic hypnosis treatment" implies it's a disease rather than a cure. And I would suggest eliminating the therapist (or the pathogen).

Chronic canteen food consumption causes cognitive development.

In other words: Going to the cafeteria every day won't really make you any dumber than you already are. It's not really helping though either.

Taking it to another level: Does peer pressure matter to firm gravitational theory?

Now we're talking real science. Kind of. This should be part of an interdisciplinary project of social psychologists and experimental physicists. Brb, writing grant proposal.

The role of environmental radioactivity on early marriage. A dyadic perspective.

Easy one: It's toxic.

Does omnipotence change with egocentrism?

Yes. In a positively linear way.

Does climate change denial and hypnosis treatment affect canteen food consumption? A review.

Depends on whether your pasta is gluten-free or not.